“…and they shall become one flesh…” (Gen 2:24)
Why do I need proof of eternity and the essential, creative power of the universe?
Can I not perceive it by holding in my hand just one flower, or by watching the sun disappear behind the horizon, the stars in the night sky, or in my rising to the song of birds?
When walking in the forest, it is obvious. All nature is one. As I watch the setting sun, and anticipate it’s rising in the morning, my thoughts are turned to the principle of unity.
Ubuntu.
“I am, because we are.”
It is no ordinary accomplishment for two people to become one. Nothing on the earth is so delicate and so easily moved as the human heart.
Good people have good things saved in their hearts. That’s why they say good things. But those who are evil have hearts full of evil, and that’s why they say things that are evil. What people say with their mouths comes from what fills their hearts. (Luke 6:45: ERV)
Jesus reminds us that our speech and actions reveal our true underlying beliefs, attitudes, and motivations. The good impressions we try to make cannot last if we are being deceptive. What is in your heart will come out in your speech and behavior, and your dating/marriage partner will see it right away!
If two stringed instruments are to produce a melodious harmony, they must be kept in tune with one another. There must be constant regulation and adjustment.How much more important it is to keep two human hearts, each with a thousand strings, in harmony with each other.
To be in harmony, any couple just needs to strike the same note, at the right time, copying the Pattern given to us. For example, it has been said that it is “better to be kind than to be right.” How important might this be in a dating/marriage relationship? When asked how she had stayed married for 65 years, when her husband had died, the elderly lady said: “Well, if you are wrong, admit it, if you are right, shut up.”
Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers. (1 Pet 3:7, GW) There is no reason to suppose that this idea of kindness would not apply to both men and women in a dating or marriage relationship.
When Peter says that women may be “weaker” than men, he was not implying moral or intellectual inferiority, but was recognizing women’s limitations back in the day. Women in his day, if unprotected by men, were vulnerable to attack, abuse, and financial disaster. The story of Boaz and Ruth is a wonderful example showing how men, even today, should always seek what is best for their dating/marriage partner. (Ruth 2:11-14)
Would it even be possible for a couple to “be of one mind” without listening to each other? Without allowing each other to be themselves? Like the lady who lost her husband after 65 years of marriage once said:
sometimes, it is better to be kind than to be right.
Is there really a need to “win” the argument every time? Is there any reason why differences or divisions cannot be used as a bridge, rather than a wall to separate and divide?
“Why do you notice the small piece of dust that is in your friend’s eye, but you don’t see the big piece of wood that is in your own eye?” (Luke 6:41, ERV)
Boaz once explained that he favored Ruth because she had shown “loyal love” to her mother-in-law, Naomi. He then gave her a blessing, asking that God would abundantly reward Ruth for her remarkable loyalty. Boaz expressed the idea of God’s protection by saying that Ruth had come under God’s wings.
Ruth’s life exhibited admirable qualities: She was hardworking, loving, kind, faithful, and brave. These qualities gained for her a good reputation, but only because she displayed them consistently in all areas of her life. Wherever Ruth went or whatever she did, her character remained the same. No wonder Boaz noticed Ruth that day, and from then on wanted only what was best for her. Her eye was “single” to God’s glory.
Ruth demonstrated how a person’s reputation is formed by the people who watch us at work, in town, at home, in church, or even on the internet. Ruth shows us today, how a good reputation comes by consistently living out the qualities we believe in—no matter what group of people or surroundings we might now be in. Any man would want a woman like Ruth, beautiful on the inside, no matter what.
Let us rejoice. God made Adam. God’s creative work was not complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. God chose, however, to make her from the the man’s flesh and bone. Even taking a rib from Adam’s side to complete the mix. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage, or even in dating, man and woman symbolically are united into one. This is a mystical union of the couple’s hearts and lives.
Throughout the Bible, God treats this special partnership seriously. If you are married or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment that makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship; it should be oneness. Seeking your life purpose together.
The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.” (Mat 6:22)
Spiritual vision, in the context of two being as one, is our capacity to see clearly what God wants us to do. To see the relationship and it’s world from God’s point of view. But this spiritual insight can be so easily clouded. Self-serving desires, interests, and goals block that vision. Resulting in just as many divorces as marriages. But there is always a little light. There is light in every cloud. We can expect it.
Serving God is the best way to restore the “one” idea to any relationship. A “good” eye is one that is fixed on God; and that seeks His will in all things.
Christ disappointed the hope of worldly greatness. In the Sermon on the Mount He sought to undo the work that had been wrought by false education, and to give His hearers a right conception of His kingdom and of His own character. Yet He did not make a direct attack on the errors of the people.” ({DA 299.3} Could there be something here for couples to emulate today? An idea that would promote the oneness that Jesus always promoted?
[Jesus]saw the misery of the world on account of sin, yet He did not present before them a vivid delineation of their wretchedness. He taught them of something infinitely better than they had known. Without combating their ideas of the kingdom of God, He told them the conditions of entrance therein, leaving them to draw their own conclusions as to its nature. The truths He taught are no less important to us than to the multitude that followed Him. We no less than they need to learn the foundation principles of the kingdom of God. {DA 299.3}
I wonder what would happen if dating or married couples did more of this with one another? May God give each of us our Adam or Eve when we are ready to be truly “of one mind.”
To be truly present with one another.
“Let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus…”